Alchemy book cover

Do you know how steamy mainstream publishing in India is getting these days? It’s positively arousing!

Just in time to keep us all warm (and wet!) for the winter, here’s Tranquebar’s latest smut anthology — including a story by ME!

In Alchemy, Tranquebar’s second anthology of erotic short stories, editor Sheba Karim has brought together thirteen diverse works about the pleasures and pains of sex – an unapologetic account of a post-modern man’s attraction to his maid, a futuristic tale of a four gendered orgy, a poignant narrative of a boy’s sexual awakening in a cinema bathroom, a lyrical meditation on a mysterious woman’s carnal lessons to an imprisoned monk. The anthology’s stories are vivid and well-crafted, moving across genres, orientations, continents and genders, taking the reader on a intimate journey through the complexities of sex, lust, and desire as the characters search for a cure for the alchemy of love.

Featuring work by: Abeer Hoque, Amitava Kumar, Ananda Devi, Gudiya, Hansda Sowvendra Shekhar, Lopa Ghosh, M. Svarini, Mary Anne Mohanraj, Mohan Sikka, Rabi Thapa, Ranbir Sidhu, Sheba Karim and Shrimoyee Nandini.

Buy it (great gift!) on Uread | Flipkart | Infibeam

“Like” & share Alchemy on Facebook

Outlaw Bodies

Interview with sexybrain Kathryn Allan

I’m honored to have a story in the hot new Outlaw Bodies anthology, available for sale right here:
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Lulu | e-book

(Go on! Go buy it! I promise, the orgy won’t start till you get back.)

Editors Djibril al-Ayad and Lori Selke have organized a fantastic daisy-chain, in which each of us contributors interview each other on our blogs.

Here’s my interview of independent scholar Kathryn Allan, who wrote a supersmart capstone essay in the book.

Q. Kathryn, I want to invite you to focus in on one sentence, which struck me as particularly relevant to the intersection of our interests:

“Outlaw bodies are ripe to the touch, they ooze into the corners of our vision and into our deepest sense of self. Their excessive bodies disgust, arouse, and confuse.

I’m picturing a venn diagram: three overlapping circles… “things that disgust” … “things that arouse” … “things that confuse.”

In the centre: outlaw bodies.

This confluence of sensations strikes me as extremely relevant to bdsm, which also sometimes simultaneously disgusts, arouses, and confuses both the observer and the participant.

So, what do you see as the common root of these three sensations, which can manifest very differently but seem to be linked at their core?

I think that disgust, arousal, and confusion – used in this way – all circle a split core of desire and shame. Outlaws bodies, to me, are those bodies that speak the unspoken desires of our collective cultures, whether they are sexual or nonsexual. Since outlaw bodies break the confines of “what’s normal,” to desire the non-normative often brings shame. This is why communities of like-minded, like-bodied outlaws are important – they take away the stigma, the shame, of desiring to be/to be with outlaw bodies. Reactions like disgust, arousal, and confusion can either bring people together or force them apart depending on the lines of communication and acceptance.

Q. How can the same act result in three different sensations? Or are they the same sensation?

I think that the same act can result in three different sensations – or indeed, a great many more – but not necessarily within one individual. Desire and shame (which are at the core of our impromptu outlaw bodies Venn diagram) manifest themselves differently from person to person. The issue should not be distinguishing one sensation from another, but that we each have equal opportunity to express ourselves in ways that do not limit the rights and freedoms of others.

Q. In what way does arousal = confusion = disgust? Attraction = repulsion?

There are no clear lines between any of these reactions to outlaw bodies. One person’s kink is another person’s mundane experience. Outlaw bodies themselves are also constantly changing in response to these reactions. Outlaw bodies push the boundaries of acceptable desires; outlaw bodies redefine the consequences (i.e. to repress or express) of shame over having non-acceptable desires. Society is constantly absorbing the people who stand at the margins. It can take centuries or decades to move the novel into the everyday. What attracts in one time and place, will disgust in another. The only constant rule to outlaw bodies is that they are bodies that create uncertainty.

Q. Why is it that the transgressive, the taboo, specifically, creates these overlapping sensations?

The transgressive carries with it the senses of novelty, daring, and exploration. I know, I know – I just added in more descriptors of feelings/reactions. But I guess that speaks to the confusion outlaw bodies elicit, doesn’t it? They aren’t just ONE thing, one sensation. The taboo is experienced differently for the person who has already transgressed than by the person who is only considering the transgression. When we are faced by the unexpected, or by the thing that we should not be, we must make sense of this new experience somehow. Bigots fall back on well-structured, and therefore comforting, notions of normativity, while the open-minded reassess what they believed they had knew to be “true.” It is incredibly difficult to remain open to new ideas, to new ways of being, that at first appearance seem antithetical to what we thought of as true. The reward for expanding ourselves – in terms of our minds, beliefs, bodies, relationships, and so on – is proportional to the risk we take in exploring the transgressive. Of course, some taboos should remain taboo (i.e. necrophilia, pedophilia, and any act in which there is an inherent lack of consent, power, and/or agency from all parties involved).

Q. Does this indicate some kind of deep pleasure at the root of confusion and disgust, too?

When it comes to transgressive acts that are truly consensual, I do believe that there can be pleasure at the root of confusion and disgust. You started this interview by raising the practice of BDSM and noting the variety of conflicting sensations that attend it. Within a BDSM relationship, consent is key. The submissive has consented to a temporary – or pre-arranged – power imbalance with the dominant partner. Both actors retain their agency. Sensations of confusion and disgust will naturally arise when boundaries are pushed – the key to finding pleasure in those situations is how those sensations are acted on and explored. Again, this involves communication and acceptance.

Q. In what other situations might we access this state?

I think that art (visual or written) can provoke a similar state of mind. While there is usually not a literal dialogue between creator and consumer, I do believe that there is a kind of conversation that happens.

Q. What does it mean to transcend any/all of these states — for example, is it necessary to overcome disgust in order to fully experience arousal, or might arousal be heightened by disgust (say, in something like humiliation play)?

It comes down to the individual, doesn’t it? As I already noted, outlaw bodies – or perhaps it is better said at this point in time, outlaw sensations – raise a myriad of feelings and reactions. There is no one way to transcend an unwanted or surprising emotion. If I go back to the core of desire/shame that lies at the centre of these states, the possibilities for transcending discomfort, for fully experiencing the transgressive, are limitless. And that’s what I find fascinating about outlaw bodies. They are without boundaries. They have no set instructions to how we react to them, enjoy them. Some people might find their transcendence through disgust, while others through self-sacrifice. Again, for me, it all comes back to consent and agency. All bodies – no matter how disgusting, confusing, arousing – deserve rights and freedom to exist. Because the designation of an outlaw body is always changing. It is not fixed in time. Outlaw bodies are transcendent bodies.

Thank you so much, Kathryn!

Readers: To check out other interviews related to Outlaw Bodies, click here:

And here again are the links to buy the book:
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Lulu | e-book


“Indians are capable of unlimited sexuality”

Yep, I said that!  And more, to the Times of India, the nation’s newspaper of record — which even published the F word in order to quote this blog.

Read more on porn, shamelessness, pro-sex feminism, advaita,  and my smutty new idea about spooning:

In the top 4 Indian women bloggers — me!

Welcome, new readers of The Bottom Runs the Fuck!  Please scroll way down this blog and read some smut, or take a shortcut to my award-winning Kaliyuga Yoni piece.

Thanks very much to @makeysitlhou  and  @Halabol for putting me on your list of loudmouth women bloggers:  Women Aloud Blogging.

Makepeace (yes, her real name!) asked me some questions via email, so here’s the extended dance mix version of our interview:

Makepeace: 1) For a woman writer to write about sex and erotica in a smut way, does blogging offer a ‘safer’ as well as a lesser inhibited space because of the possibility and prevalence of moralistic editors or sales driven marketeer publications?    2) You have been writing dirty for a long time. However, (from my observation & knowledge) you gained the viral attention from your porngate piece [How to Watch Porn in India] and more recently were published in the First Post for your piece titled for The Dirty Picture. Would you say you were bummed that you got THIS attention from sex moral satires rather than a pure erotica piece? Moreover, is the former still more publicly popular than the latter? 

M. Svairini: Regarding your questions — my short answer is pretty much “no” to all.  My experience is very positive.

I’ve had fantastic editors who have enthusiastically published my work, whether smut or commentary:  FirstPost, Circlet Press, Safeword magazine, and at least three upcoming anthologies (one from Zubaan, another from Westland/Tranquebar, and a third to be determined).

So, hooray for editors, hooray for publications!  Sex writing sells better than almost any other kind of writing; there is absolutely no lack of markets.

And I don’t actually know any men who write smut professionally or semi-professionally; I’m sure there are some, but I definitely don’t feel like women are underrepresented in the field.

So, the blog is one of many ways that I share my writing, not something I do because I can’t get published/paid elsewhere!

All writers are attention whores and, barring criminal activity, we are quite happy to have our work spread or “go viral” for any reason whatsoever. 🙂

When I write about something in the news, I expect a certain kind of immediate uptick in traffic.  But over time, the traffic on the story posts is just as high or higher.  So I don’t think one is more popular than the other, it’s just a different kind of popularity.

If people read and are turned on — whether by the sex, the ideas, the critiques, or the humor — then I’m happy.

Writing about sex is one of the most powerful things I do.  Nothing about it is a bummer!

Image source:

Judges find “Mouth” yummy!

Hello pervs, guess what?  Once again yours truly is up for a National Leather Association writing award!

My futuristic orgy story “Mouth,” which is available for purchase right here, is a finalist in the short fiction category.

A taste:

The silk brushed against her lips so lightly that she felt naked. She would have to be careful of the wind that sometimes picked up when the trains came. She imagined a breeze lifting the veil, exposing her genitalia to everyone…Stop it, she told herself firmly. But she was already wet, and she swallowed hard.

I would really love another one of those hard shiny plaques!  It could get together with last year’s award, and they could fuck and make lots more cute little baby award plaques!

Do check out the other hot writers in the press release below, and please keep your fingers (but not your legs) crossed for me.

If you’re looking for more kinky nasty reads, I especially recommend other finalists, The Prince’s Boy by Cecilia Tan and anything by Mollena Williams, the Perverted Negress.




(Columbus, OH) — National Leather Association–International (NLA-I), a leading organization for activists in the pansexual SM/leather/fetish community, announced today the finalists for its annual writing awards for works published in 2011. Named after activists and writers Geoff Mains, John Preston, Pauline Reage, Cynthia Slater, and the groundbreaking organization Samois, they are awarded annually to recognize excellence in writing and publishing about leather, SM, bondage and fetishes.

The finalists for the Cynthia Slater Non-fiction Article Award are:

Jack Fritscher, “Leather’s Burning Man: The History of the Folsom Street Fair” (Bay Area Reporter)

Mollena Williams, “Tables Briefly Turned” (from her blog at:

The finalists for the Geoff Mains Non-fiction Book Award are:

Tracy Bain and Owen Keehnen, Leatherman: The Legend of Chuck Renslow (CreateSpace)

Gayle Rubin, Deviations: A Gayle Rubin Reader (Duke University Press)

Jim Stewart, Folsom Street Blues: A Memoir of 1970s SoMa and Leatherfolk in Gay San Francisco (Palm Drive)

The finalists for the Pauline Reage Novel Award are:

Lauren Gallagher, Reconstructing Meredith (Carnal Passions)

Jeff Mann, Fog: A Novel of Desire and Reprisal (Bear Bones Books)

Cherise Sinclair, To Command and Collar (Loose Id)

Cecilia Tan, The Prince’s Boy: Volumes 1 & 2 (Circlet)

The finalists for the John Preston Short Fiction Award are:

Kissiah Aiken, “Transformative,” which appeared in Nobilis Reed (ed.), “Coming Together in Flux” (CreateSpace)

Laura Antoniou,  The Man with the Phoenix Tattoo,” which appeared in Tristan Taormino (ed.), Take Me There.

Jeff Mann, ” Jeff and Sam: After the Concert,” which appeared in Shane Allison (ed.), Brief Encounters: 69 Hot Gay Shorts

 M. Svairini, “Mouth,” which appeared in Lauren P. Burka (ed.), Up for Grabs 2: Exploring More Worlds of Gender (Circlet)

Xan West, “It’s My Job,” which appeared in Richard Labonte (ed.), Hot Daddies: Gay Erotic Fiction (Cleis)

The finalists for the Samois Anthology Award are:

Rachel Kramer Bussel, Surrender: Erotic Tales of Female Pleasure and Submission (Cleis)

Rachel Kramer Bussel, Best Bondage Erotica 2012 (Cleis)

Alison Tyler, Slave to Love (Cleis)

The winners will be announced at the National Leather Association’s Annual General Meeting, which will be held during Tribal Fire (4-6 May 2012) in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Please contact the award committee chair, Steve Vakesh, for more information about the awards at For more information about Tribal Fire or the National Leather Association, see: and

Porngate — my voice online!

Last night I had a sexy phone date with  … the BBC!   Such cute accents!

Audio voyeurs, you can listen in on our steamy chat at this link: BBC World Have Your Say 9 February 2012.  Tune in to hear me blame the British for bringing Victorian hypocrisy to India, argue that India needs more porn, and explain why advocating for frank depictions of consensual adult sex has nothing to do with child pornography.  Our hot and heavy four-way debate on #porngate starts at 08:58 mins, and my voice starts around 14:55.

Bonus trivia for pervs: Do you know what BBC stands for in the porn world?  Wanna find out?  Do a google image search for “BBC”, with your “Safe Search” setting OFF.  Warning: Do not do this at work. Unless, of course, you work in the Karnataka state legislature.


Missed my earlier posts on #porngate?  Here you go:

How to Watch Porn in India (emergency advice column):

The Dirty Picture: On Sex and Hypocrisy in India

How to Watch Porn in India

Public Service Announcement: This is an emergency advice column for Karnataka state legislators involved in the so-called #porngate scandal.

I know, I know… sometimes a boy needs his, er, supplemental stimulus.  But you live in a neo-Puritan society.   So:

1. First things first: Look over your shoulder to see if any television cameras are behind you. Scope out the ceiling, too. No need to be paranoid, but if that lady in the painting on your wall seems to be looking right at you, maybe she is. So check out her backside. You’re a voyeur, not an exhibitionist, right? Right??

2. Don’t settle for less. It’s the 2010s, for goodness’ sake. Globalization has arrived, and with it, quality. Why bother with grainy footage of grungy firangs at raves? That’s like watching bootlegged Betamax quality porn shot in the suburbs of Houston with 1970s hair. Eww. Instead, send your driver to get quality Bangkok or Mal-Kerala flicks from your local DVD-wallah’s not-so-secret stash.

3. Mobile phone videos are crap. Why do you think the Japanese invented 40-inch screens that can be mounted on the ceiling above your bed? Invest in an HDTV and order some of those blue films via satellite. Then lie back, relax, and enjoy the show. Just make sure the carpenter screws everything in nice and tight. Nothing ruins a good wank like a large appliance falling on your, er, head.

4. Learn about consent. Rape isn’t sex, any more than a laddoo is a vada. So know the difference. There’s a big difference between rape for the camera, and consensual well-acted sex for the camera. Become a discerning connoisseur. Plus, hey, actual sex between consenting adults is still legal! At least in some places. Unless you made it illegal.

4a: Try not to make sex illegal. Especially not the kind you like to wank to.

5. Branch out. Don’t get stuck in a rut of watching skinny trafficked underage girls getting raped by johns. (See #4.) Check out the women who are in charge of their own porn careers; now that’s hot. Look at feminist porn, gay porn, and other sex-radical empowerment-oriented porn. Some of it is fantastic. You’ll be way ahead of the curve, so you can impress your friends by sharing new links with them on their mobile phones.

6. If you want to host a viewing party, do it in the privacy of your home. (Three guys huddled over a phone in a legislative chamber is always a sign of something going on.) For bonus party points, order in some pakoras, popcorn, and Pabst.

What’s Pabst? It’s imported. Tastes like urine. You’re into golden showers, right?

No? Wait, then why did you act like you wanted the whole world to piss on you?

I’m so confused.

Not like this.


Lusting for more? See my #porngate article on Firstpost: The Dirty Picture: How not to be a sex hypocrite.

Desi Smut Makes the News!

I’m interviewed in The Week magazine along with other desi women who write sexily. Click here to read the full articleE-rotica, by Nikita Doval. Tagline: Writing about sex is also a powerful form of dissent for the growing breed of women bloggers.

Here’s the full text of Nikita’s email interview with me.

1) How did you get started on the journey of erotica writing?

I’ve been writing ever since I was a child and that included various kinds of dreams, fantasies, and stories. I never saw a reason to shy away from or shut off any kind of experience.

Sexy writing was a key part of my own sexual awakening; I learned which stories turned me on and which left me cold. I was reading and fantasizing about lesbians and sadomasochism for many years before I ever fucked a girl or felt a whip.  I was also lucky to be in a pro-sex feminist milieu where people like Susie Bright and Pat Califia were articulating why it’s important for women and queer people to write our own desires.

The more reading I did, the more I realized I was at least as good a writer as a lot of people whose stories were getting published.  So I started putting more effort into writing and finishing the stories in my head, instead of getting, um, distracted along the way!

I write the stories that I myself find hot and want to masturbate to.  I also write reflections on things that come up for me in my own sexual life; for example I just wrote and performed a piece called Hurting that talks about different levels of sexual, spiritual, and emotional pain.

As I gain a readership, I try to be conscious of including different gender orientations, races, and body types in my stories, because a lot of porn, whether written or visual, is very boring and stereotypical in that way.  The women are always beautiful and light-skinned and skinny with big breasts, for example.  Yawn.

2) How do you define erotica writing? Most people perceive there to be little difference between writing about sex and erotic writing. How would you differentiate the two? Some other writers I spoke to thought of erotic writing as a play of words, a play of language while they described their body’s sensations to its immediate environment, its thoughts to what was happening around it. How do you describe your erotic writings?

I do not differentiate. I write porn, erotica, smut, call it whatever you want, as well as stories where the sex is not the main point, and stories that don’t happen to have sex in them.  I am suspicious of any very strict attempt to delineate erotica from porn. That stinks of the old “good” vs “bad” sex duality.   I subscribe to Advaita (nondualism)!

I guess people say erotica is more about mood.  To me, at the end of the day it’s about fucking and whatever gets you hot is just a means to that.  Some people are turned on by a candle by the bedside, others prefer their candle to be dripping wax on their nipples. It’s all good; why should there be judgment that one way of setting the mood is “erotic” and one is “pornographic”?

3) We have had a fairly rich history of erotica be it in our bhakti traditions or of course the Kama Sutra but in the modern day and age erotica has all but fallen off our radar. Why do you think that happened? Do Indian writers struggle to find a balance between describing sex and celebrating the body’s reaction to it?

Clearly the cleaning-up of Indian sexuality was a response to colonialist ideas. The goraas came to India and were shocked to see women with bare breasts, men who slept with men, gods who had erotic lives, etc. Indian patriarchs trying to impress the goraas then bought into this and tried to show they were “civilized,” not “barbaric,” by covering up and brushing away certain practices, and trying to make Indian sexuality conform to Victorian morality. Partha Chatterjee lays this out pretty clearly in his influential postcolonial theory book, The Nation and Its Fragments: Colonial and Postcolonial Histories.  A lot of queer historians and academics are covering this territory too.

I don’t think people have ever stopped wanting to access erotic images or stories.  Bollywood is basically soft porn.  Even the tiniest town in India has a semi-secret video counter where guys can go to get ripped-off porno DVDs.  Because of patriarchal ideas and the confinement to the home, women haven’t had as much access as consumers of sexual material.

But now, as a wider swath of Indian women have access to the Internet and some leisure time, they’re looking for that material. Not much is aimed toward their tastes, of course, and most women don’t want to look at exploitative videos of semi-starved girls living in virtual slavery who are trafficked in from Nepal to be on sexcams — any more than they want to walk into the red-light districts of the metros.  They want stories they can relate to.  So the written word is filling that need.

My readers are all over the gender map.  Who I really write for is queer and transgender people of color all over the world.  But I’m happy if others get their rocks off, too.

4) Two years ago we had an anthology of Indian erotica released. Now Zubaan is working on another one. Urrmila Deshpande’s Slither was released to some good reviews. Erotic blogs are increasing in number and so are their followers (Shameless Yonis being one example), to what do you attribute this movement of erotica in the main-stream?

The internet has always been an easy place for people to access erotica because of anonymity. One of the first widely published internet erotica writers was a Sri Lankan American woman, Mary Anne Mohanraj, who has a number of books out now, some erotic and some not.  She’s working on a new erotic collection, DemiMonde, that features South Asian characters in a futuristic world and just raised money for it via Kickstarter.

So the web has always been further ahead on this issue, and Indians are big on the web (thanks IIT!).  Visual porn was the first type of business that figured out how to make money as an internet business. Now the print media in India are catching up.

But Indian writing is very hamstrung by archaic obscenity laws.  It’s exactly the same problem as Section 377.   And the fact that sex toys are not legal, in the land of the Kama Sutra, which explicitly refers to sex toys, is absurd.

These remnants of colonialism are getting weaker and weaker.  In practice, you can go into any cybercafe and walk by a guy who’s in a chatroom trolling for sex or looking at porn online.  You can buy cheap sex toys  made in China or even made in India.  You can read Shameless Yonis from the comfort of your own home!

So why not bring it out into the open?  Yes, we like sex!  There didn’t get to be 1.2 billion of us just like that only.  Haha.

I hope that sex writing can play a role in opening up the dialogue about sexuality, and letting people know that they are not alone in their desires.  Shame about sexuality is a huge problem for us desis, and that’s why more of us need to step up and be shameless role models, especially women.

5) What inspires your erotic writings? What are they influenced by?

I’m blessed with a fantastic range of personal sexual experience and an even more fantastic imagination.  Inspiration is never a problem!

6) Is writing erotica an intensely personal experience or can you separate your writing from your persona?

Sex is an intensely personal experience. Writing of any kind is also intensely personal, but in a different way.

7) What kind of reader feedback do you get? Based on the reactions you get, what is your opinion about sexual maturity of most Indians out there at least when it comes to the written word.

My reader feedback is mostly gratitude, encouragement, and bottomless desire.  I love it.

Yeah, ok, there are some guys out there who think they are perverts — but you know what, I’m probably much more perverted than them!  So the joke’s on them.  I think it’s hilarious when some dude tries to come on to me on Twitter, since (a) what a pathetic pickup medium, and (b) my stuff has BIG OL LESBO written all over it.

8 ) How did you get to be a part of Shameless Yonis?

Kama Spice had the idea to start a joint smut blog by South Asian women after she and I met at a conference.  We really clicked, we hooked in a couple of other writers we knew, and more recently, we hooked up with South Asian Sisters which has been producing the fabulous show Yoni Ki Baat for a number of years. The rest is history!

9) Are you open about your identity or do you prefer to keep it a closely guarded secret. Any particular reason why if so.

I like having a different persona for different writing voices.  People who are important to me in my real life know my various avatars.  At the same time, I do like to keep a zone of privacy around myself and the people I’m close to.

10) Lastly, who are the other Indian erotica writers you follow and why would you recommend them?

I don’t really follow any desi smut writers other than the Shameless Yonis.  My erotic tastes are specific, and I have high standards for the quality of the writing, so I’m afraid most of it doesn’t pass the bar.  Electric Feather was great, and I’m looking forward to the Zubaan anthology that Rosalyn is editing.  There is also a US anthology called Desilicious that came out some time back that was quite good.

I think we need more outlets. Someone should start a quarterly literary smut magazine in India. It would sell millions.  Are you listening, publishers of The Week?

French Toast

I cut the french toast into hearts and cover it with sweet red jam.  Kissan, your favorite brand.  The Economist, your favorite magazine.  I don’t risk coffee; I know my limits — I’m a northie, incapable of making coffee the way you like it.

In your cupboard I find a silver tray.

“Wow baby,” you say, smiling from under the covers.  You sit up.  Tray to the side; toast in one hand, magazine in the other.

I watch you eat, your lips swallowing and licking the luscious, sticky red jam. I like the way you eat. It makes me hungry, too.

It’s a chilly Bangalore morning.  Sunday.  No cook, no maid, no work to pull us away from each other.

You’re telling me about a story in the magazine.  The war in the Congo, or the debt crisis in Greece.  Something far away from us. Something that doesn’t have to touch us, unless we let it.

I get back under the covers, rest my hand on your thigh.  Absorbed in reading, in eating, you don’t object as I cuddle closer.  Move the covers off you.

You finish your toast.

I lift your nightgown.

You lick the last jam off your fingers, pretend to keep reading.

I separate your legs, situate myself between them.

“So how is the yuan doing against the dollar, anyway?”  I ask, innocently, my head resting against your inner thigh.

You laugh.  You put down the magazine.  You stroke my hair.

I start my breakfast … delicious, as always.